….

I can’t tell you how much thinking I do every minute of the day.

I can’t explain how many times I doubt myself.

I can’t find the words to tell you that I don’t want any help. That this is something I need to do on my own. It’s not because I feel like I can’t, it is because I don’t trust you enough. I don’t trust you to not throw it back in my face. I’m a fragile little thing that’s been thrown around with since my mind could put two and two together. It’s not that I haven’t tried… it’s that, when I’ve tried, you spoken before I got to my next word. And here I am, red-eyed with a pound in my head, sitting on the bathroom floor with my back to the wall scared of leaving this small space. Because I will never know what it is like to fully trust another. Blood may be thicker than water, but between us, our blood runs thin.

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