I’m Selfish

I wonder how often we have to fight for you to finally listen. For you to hear my side of the story. You call me selfish for standing up for myself. You also call me a coward for not speaking at all. You let me believe that blood is thicker than water all my life, but perhaps we aren’t the same blood type. You said that I owed you my life for taking care of me when we were young, yet you never nurtured me. You tell stories to your friends about times when I made the mistake, laughing at my flaws thinking I would find it just as humorous. You are mistaken.

We fought again today. I said things I meant and knowing you, you will expect me to apologize. Because that is who you are. I will not exploit what I think of you because one day you will hurt me to the point where you will not be a part of my life. We have car ride conversations about toxic friends, have you ever wondered about toxic family members?

I wished to be you when I was younger. For the past four years, I wish is to be nothing like you.

You will notice my scars fading as days go by, on days I forget to cover up. You did not cause them. I did. You didn’t influence me to do it. My hands were not strong enough to say “no.” However, you did trigger it, I will not lie to spare your feelings. After all, to quote you, I am selfish.

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